Escape from Intimacy. Janay Weinhold, Barry Weinhold

In their book, “Escape from Intimacy,” Barry Weinhold and Janay Weinhold expose the problem of counterdependence, the flip side of codependence. Counterdependence can manifest itself as one of those addictions that contribute to the avoidance of intimacy: sports, work, shopping, multiple sexual partners, and travel. Counterdependence leads to a lack of true intimacy, to unsuccessful and unsatisfactory relationships.

Drawing on the results of more than 20 years of their active research, the authors convincingly prove that counterdependent behavior is caused by a failure to go through two of the most important developmental processes in early childhood: establishing an emotional connection and separation. This affects all subsequent stages of development and causes problems with closeness and intimacy. But the wounds that arise in close relationships can be best healed in them. When people help each other heal childhood wounds, they experience what can be called a deep closeness, a touch of souls.

A great advantage of the book is that it provides specific examples and exercises that will help you overcome counterdependence and experience new levels of closeness.